Book?

Hello blog!

This time I am blogging on my laptop instead of my phone. Feels better and more realistic.

Anyways, to the headline, I'm thinking about writing a book.. I've wanted to write one for a very long time now and after reading Fifty Shades, I decided. I'm not going to start on it now though, I'll wait until I have a more proper laptop to write on because the one I currently have is just a big mess.

But tomorrow is the first day back to school and I'm stressed as hell. School only means homework, assignments, presentations.. all of which I absolutely hate.

I'm putting myself at peace in my bedroom right now, listening to my playlist of favorite songs so by tomorrow, I hope I'm at peace with my mind and self. But it is hard to concentrate on my music when my neighbour upstairs decides to also put on music, full volume. The worst part is his music, it is so horrible I actually feel like my ears are about to fall off.

But now, I'm going to redecorate my blog.

Late night blog

Hiya there! Been away for quite some time and a lot has happened since the last time I checked in.

My weight is still the same even though I've changed my eating habits. I don't seem to gain or lose weight at all and it has got to be the most frustrating thing ever. 

I'm having trouble falling asleep right now since everyone else fell asleep some time ago. And this, right now, is what I hate. At night, when all your thoughts come out. 

I honestly feel like the most hideous person alive and someone I'm really in love with is so far away and unaware of my existence. That's got to suck the worst. Knowing that this one person you're completely head over heels with, doesn't even know you and if they did know you, they'd just see you as a friend. If you're lucky, that is. 

Anyway, I've tried to occupy myself a lot lately since school is starting again in only just a few days and I decided it'd be great to read the trilogy of fifty shades of grey, watch all seasons of modern family and white collar, while also watching new episodes of my other favourite tv shows that are about to take a long hiatus..

My eyelids are slowly closing so I better scurry and sleep. Goodnight world. 

Weight

Hello blog. So lately my self esteem has just dropped to the bottom of the ocean. I have gained an awful lot of weight and its killing me. I have no idea how to lose the weight and that's frustrating me. It's actually much easier to gain weight than lose it.

Now, it's not like I look like some hippo with fat hanging on me in all kinds of places. It's just the little yet annoying stuff. My stomach is wider, my ass is bigger, my thighs touch and I have a double chin. Like just kill me now. 

I've actually tried to lose it but after a while when I see no results, I just give up. And that is not good. I really need to step up and do something about this. 

I'll be back in a couple of months if there has been results. 

'

 Hello. I've just realised that this blog has turned into a me blog instead of my life and friends blog so sorry about that but I haven't seen my friends in a long time since I'm like half way off the globe. 

I'm going through some issues and I have to deal with everything all by myself. Apologies. 

Me

Hey there. Been a while. Schools over and it's time for summer vacation. I'm not excited for this fall though because you see, I have failed myself and I have to  pay for it. I know this is just god punishing me but I have to take the punches. 

Something that hurts a lot is seeing people I thought were my friends, hang out with each other and not bother inviting me. I think I'm better of alone without anybody. 

I miss Tree Hill. I miss the awesome high school days. Sure, some days were bad but there are so memories I got to take with me. I wish I could just pull out a magic wand out of my pocket and say 'bippity boppity boo' and I'd get back to being 18 and then freeze time. 

Some trip down memory lane huh. I'm finishing off here and going to sleep. I hope you all have an awesome night or morning or afternoon, wherever you are :)

Sh*t

Hello blog! Been a while. I've had a really really terrible and horrible day. I honestly do not know for how much longer I can go on with this life. I'm constantly thinking about either running away or permanently falling asleep. 

Also school is shit too. Grades are bad, and I feel like a dumbass in class. It just seems like nothing is going right for me. I have two parents that never seem to stop being disappointed and angry with me. 

Not a day goes by without me thinking about crying. I hate it. I hate all of it. 

On/Off

Hi blog. I suppose I'll be updating whenever I feel like it. Anyways, the red bedroom days are over. Was hard saying goodbye to red and hello to a new colour.. I had to think a while before deciding on a new colour for my room. From now on its turquoise bedroom. I quite like it but the room is far from done.

On another note, I've been so extremely and utterly stressed out with school. I'm all worn out and just really tired. I am praying to God for some guidance and help, I really need it. Lets hope I'm number one on the waiting list of all the prayers.

I'm gonna try and get some sleep soon and prepare myself for a long and dreadful day tomorrow.