1:39pm, 14.09.17

Have you ever sat in class and just stared at the wall because you just don't understand anything coming out of the teachers mouth? If so, then welcome to my every day life.

Good afternoon! Currently being a badass and writing a blog post during History class. I have major anxiety, I want to get my eyebrows done after this lesson but every time I call to make an appointment, they either don't answer or they're fully booked for the day. Just my freakin' luck. Anyways..

I have not spoken to my lover for almost a month now and I miss him so terribly much but I feel like the last time we spoke, we left things at a bad place. I sort of didn't get a good vibe from his side so I feel like everything he's told me so far has just been a big fat lie. And this, my friends, is why you should keep your heart closed. Or locking it would be more suitable, lock your heart and bury the key in cement. That way, nobody can get in and hurt you. Wow, look at me go! I only got a bad feeling and this is how I react, what happens when he actually hurts me then? Focus, focus. I'm being ridiculous.

Moving on. I've got this super annoying assignment that has to be done in like a week and I haven't even started on it. I'm so stressed out right now and I dont understand why I haven't started it yet so I need to do that but.... I'll probably get some ice cream on my way back because it is much needed after today. You see, I thought I was finally getting connections in this building but I keep getting abandoned by people I get somewhat close to. Isn't that just shitty? It's as if they can detect that I'm an annoying clingy bitch and they distance themselves from me. But there really isn't much that I can do so all I need to do is hold on for three more years and then I'm out of here. And also, if there are any spelling errors, my apologies. I adjusted the lightning on the laptop so no one else can see what it is that I'm doing but I'll probably come back and fix the spelling if there are any.

I have an hour left of this class and then I'm out of here so peace out lovely faces and I'll maybe see you soon!

Xo,

High school is hell

Let me start off by saying, I'm sorry. I know I have not been here for quite a while but I was supposed to get a new laptop but instead I'm spending my money on something else. 

On another note, school is in session again and I'm not too happy about it. Actually, I'm not happy about it at all. I keep telling myself that I'm only going to be stuck here for 3 more years. Three frickin' years. 

But I don't know what else to write, not much has been going on actually. Although, I feel like my depression is getting worse and my social anxiety is just a complete and utter mess. I'm actually surprised I've managed to stay alive for this long. 

Also I met someone, who lives miles away from me and I'm kind of sad about it. And even though he's told me he loves me, I still have my doubts. There is also a 9 year difference between us but that doesn't really matter to either of us except it sometimes gets in the way of certain things. 

Anyways, let me wrap this up real quick. I have one more class left and then later on I'm grabbing a bite. Also how fast has this year gone?! It's September already. Crazy insane. Before we know it, we'll be celebrating Easter, wow. 

But... Have a continued good day/night/evening! Love you lots and lots.  I shall leave you with this exquisite picture of the always lovely and amazing, Sophia Bush. 

Xo.